Sorry for blurting out but.....

....I have to say it before I forget! Does your child ever say that to you? Even though we teach our children the importance of turn taking at home and in school, their exuberance often results in wanting to respond to or share information quickly. When this happens, we adults try to remind our children that although we want to hear what they have to say, they need to wait until the appropriate time to speak so as to give others equal time. Usually, that is when I hear the comment that always brings a smile to my face - "But I have to say it before I forget"!

In response to this, I posed a thoughtful question to Mrs.Williams' Kindergarten class last week. I asked them to help me to think of ways to wait our turn when we have something we really want to say. The answers I received were more than I could have imagined. One youngster suggested that making "duck lips" (holding your lips together) prevents you from blurting out. I tried it and it worked! I held my lips together, tried to speak and voila! Nothing! Another student recommended holding the thought in your mind for as long as possible until you had the chance to say it. Not a bad idea. I especially liked the idea of whispering the thought into your hands (I'll have to try that one).

After hearing a few more suggestions, I decided to present the ultimate challenge to the entire class: Could they, as a team, put these suggestions to work by remembering not to speak out in class when a teacher is giving a lesson or when they are supposed to be working quietly? And if, every few minutes or so, their teacher put a beautifully colored glass bead into a vase when they could resist the urge to talk out, could they earn something special? And if they could fill that vase with those beautiful beads, what could they earn?

That's when the conversation got animated. I wrote their suggestions down as fast as I could, as the children and Mrs, Williams listed such ideas as a few extra minutes of recess, extra brain breaks, extra time on the iPads, and even a dance party! But when one boy raised his hand (yay!) and said that the class should have the opportunity to play on the turf field, the entire class cheered!
This conversation happened a week ago, and I am happy to report that it took only one week to get that vase filled (I was honored to be invited to the official announcement). As Mrs. Williams dropped that final bead into the vase, she announced that the class would be paying on the turf field that very day!

I am so proud of our Kindergarten children for their understanding of the importance of turn taking. Their ability to respect the perspectives of others is rewarded externally by beads and an ultimate treat. But more importantly, our goal is the internalization of response inhibition so that our children can communicate more effectively and respectfully with others.  The praise they receive for doing this is already superseding the tangible reward, and I am amazed at how little time this is actually taking! So do praise your kindergartners for their hard work and for being such empathic individuals.

Before we know it, there won't be one pair of duck lips in the class!