So many feelings!

Is it possible to feel more than 1 feeling at the same time? Marilena and I posed this question to our students this week, as we encouraged them to talk about the diverse feelings around returning to school. Our goals were twofold: Help them to label the diversity of feelings they experience around this transition, and of equal importance, become aware of the feelings of their peers. This level of perspective taking is ultimately designed to make students aware of the feelings of friends who are new to Berwick, and to demonstrate empathy and inclusion.

I am a great believer in visual aids to assist in processing and organizing thoughts. Our Social Thinking poster (you know – the yellow one with the 2 hands with a skill emanating from each finger for a total of 10 that is in every classroom) is a great example of the types of visuals I like to use. So for the 3^rd and 4^th Graders, I decided to use one of David Hyerle’s Thinking maps to help the children visualize and process all of the different emotions around the 1^st week of school. In The Circle Map and Frame (see below), students were encouraged to write anything they could think of associated with returning to school – anything from new shoes, to new classrooms, to recess, lunch, friends, etc. Outside of the circle, they were encouraged to label the feelings associated with each item.

As you can imagine, the responses were quite diverse. Folks were pretty happy about the new shoes and seeing friends, but expressed various feelings regarding new classrooms and expectations. Nervousness about amount of homework, sadness regarding the end of Summer vacation, joyfulness about getting back to Art class, shyness about making new friends were only a few of the emotions  that were expressed. And as you can also imagine, the new students expressed more curiosity and anxiety, but also excitement and relief.

Learning to hold and cope with a variety of feelings simultaneously was effectively addressed through labeling, and allowed the students to identify strategies when feelings become too overwhelming. They named a variety of trusted family members, siblings, friends and school staff with whom to share their concerns, and also talked about how they could be the trusted ones when friends need help.

For our little ones, some readings and role playing will allow for the expressions of emotions, as well as the naming of strategies for coping with them. “Rainbow Fish” is one of Marilena’s favorites and will provide a lesson in perspective taking, empathy and friendship skills.

At home, it’s great to talk to your children about their feelings, and how we can feel opposite feelings at the same time. It’s fun to ask them what kinds of situations would prompt conflicting feelings. For example, going to the doctor because you are ill makes us both nervous and relieved because we know that will feel better afterwards. You can name some situations for the younger children, and for older ones, have them create them. This will give you a window into the types of situations that produce the variety of emotions that you see.

Below is a compilation of the feelings our students expressed about the beginning of school!

Welcome Back!

Don’t you just love the first day of school? It never ceases to amaze us how children can grow so much in such a short period of time! Marilena and I had the pleasure of greeting the children and their parents upon their return from summer and as expected, their exuberance once again permeated the air. They expressed varying levels of readiness, mixed feelings, and excitement about seeing friends and being in new classrooms. Many of them were feeling normal levels of anxiety as well, as reported by their parents after classroom drop off!

As a matter of course, we address issues around initial anxiety right from the beginning of the year: naming feelings, understanding the reasons for those feelings, and finding various ways to cope with them. In our social emotional learning classes, Marilena and I are hoping to expand on the children’s “feelings vocabulary”, so they will be better able to identify the subtleties between such feelings as “disappointment” and “frustration”.  The ability to do this enables the adoption of the most appropriate strategy when needed.

This approach was validated by Marc Brackett,PhD, Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.  We were fortunate to have him speak to our faculty before the start of school, about his RULER approach to SEL. RULER is an acronym which refers to the 5 components of the program, which align closely to ours here at Berwick.  His emphasis on the importance of emotional intelligence and self-regulation will be addressed in various ways throughout the year.

In Kindergarten, 1^st and 2^nd grades, we will process “back to school” feelings by labeling the physical underpinnings of emotions, and what we can do when we feel them. Showing where feelings are in the body through diagrams will allow the children to see where those feelings reside as they come to understand the reasons for them. We will also role play solutions for dealing with these emotions, and these will include talking to a trusted person about them. Relaxation techniques for self-regulation will also be a critical component.

Processing feelings in the 3^rd Grade will be done through discussions of where emotions are in our body, as well as how we deal with them in appropriate and meaningful ways. The idea of perspective taking in this class will be taught as we encourage the students to advocate for their peers as well as for themselves. A diagram showing a feelings thermometer will give the students a visual aid to record the intensity of the emotion they feel, as they assess what to do about this emotion.

In the 4^th Grade, the discussions and recording of feelings under various circumstances will be done initially in pairs, as students exchange ideas and thoughts about beginning school. The goal of this is to have the students validate each other’s’ anxieties, fears, or excitement, and establish common solutions for how to deal with them. We will then come together to create a “thinking map” of our collection of feelings and solutions. This visual will allow the students to see the wide variety of emotions associated with school, ranging from elation to anxiety, and everything in between!

The provision of a safe and validating community will enhance the students’ ability to identify, label and cope with feelings which may inhibit academic or social performance. We aim to provide that environment for the children as they learn to care for themselves and for others with empathy and compassion.

Marilena and I are excited to be able to combine social emotional learning with physical movement, mindfulness and yoga this year. All of these will contribute to the “whole child” approach to learning, which BA is dedicated to providing for our children!