Did you know that at least 85% of our communication is
non-verbal? We can say something to someone else, but the way we say it - our tone of voice and body language can
give one statement various meanings. For example, if your friend has a new
hairstyle, she can infer that you like it if you look her in the eye and your
voice is sincere and positive. However, if you avoid making eye contact, or
roll your eyes while your voice reflects uncertainty, she may infer that she
needs a new stylist!
Teaching our children to infer allows them to surmise the
meaning of a situation without all of the information given. They do this
through the understanding of cause and effect, ability to “read the room”, to
draw information from facial expressions and gestures, and access their own prior
knowledge of the situation. Inferencing is “higher order thinking” and becomes
more critical over the years.
Why is this important? From an academic standpoint, being
able to infer has been shown to improve reading comprehension, as children can
better attach their own “schema”, to understand the motivations of characters
in a story. From a resilience standpoint, if a child can infer a situation from
context and from nonverbal information, he/she is in a better position to find
more appropriate solutions to problems encountered throughout the day. From an empathic
standpoint, it has been shown that the ability to infer the feelings and
motivations of others allows us to demonstrate empathy and compassion more
effectively as we appreciate both the commonalities and diversities of those with
whom we interact.
As we focus more on the importance of global education, the
ability to empathize becomes highly meaningful. I was fortunate to observe
Krysta Zambroski read “Probuditi” by Chris Van Allsburg to our 2nd
Graders, encouraging them to infer and predict the outcome of a very intriguing
story about a boy who “supposedly” hypnotized his sister, turning her into a
dog! It was delightful to see their faces light up with anticipation as the
story unfolded, guessing what might happen next, knowing that this boy was
about to get into a bit of hot water.
So Marilena and I decided to see how their inferencing
abilities would play out in our SEL class. We asked them to guess both the
feelings as well as the situation promoting these feelings by presenting a
scenario with successive bits of information leading to their guessing the
complete motivation behind the character’s actions. For example, the 1st
scenario:
A – Your friend’s eyes are red and she has a sad face. (The
children guess that she is upset and crying).
B – Your friend’s eyes are red, she has a sad face, and she
is sneezing. (The children guess that she has a cold).
C – Your friend’s eyes are red, she has a sad face, she is
sneezing and has to go to the nurse’s office. (Now she has the flu!).
D – Your friend’s eyes are red, she has a sad face, she is
sneezing, has to go to the nurse’s office and her Mom is coming to pick her up
(She really sick so needs to go home and rest, or go to the doctor).
Now we have a complete picture, based on the children’s’ own
prior experience, allowing them to put bits of nonverbal information together
to guess what is going on. But more importantly, we then discuss what we can to
do show empathy to our friend, and some wonderful examples of compassion
emerge.
Marilena takes this and runs with it (literally) by having
the students play a game of tag where the person tagged can be rescued by
making an empathic statement to the rescuer, who then presents that person with
a beanbag with which to rescue someone else who has been tagged. This is such a
wonderful exercise, allowing our students to be thoughtful in how they address
their peers and demonstrate the kind of caring that we endorse throughout their
day.
This is a fun exercise that parents and caregivers can do at
home! Make up a scenario and give your child just a bit of information,
starting with a feeling (use feelings faces to augment if you wish). Add a few
more bits of information until your child infers the meaning of the situation.
Then discuss how to show compassion in addressing it. Your child will surprise
you with all that he/she can infer!
